be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When are your genitals available?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
