I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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