He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm determined to sit on that face.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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