So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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