bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
