Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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