so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
