Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
