just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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