I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
