Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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