Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
