I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
