Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
