After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
