No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
