Your face is a jimmy john
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
