i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
