How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
