i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
