Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
