Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
