Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
"it" just moved
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
