i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
