If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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