i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
