Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
