I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
