yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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