If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
