:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
