I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
