remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
