the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
