Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
