Buhtt sex?
my being single is dangerous.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
