chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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