Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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