omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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