i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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