the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Plan B is the new Plan A
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
