we have officially lost it.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
