therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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