Your mouth is God's brothel.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
