Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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