no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
