Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
