What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
