and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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