oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
